When I describe myself as a solo parent, I sometimes get a puzzled look or a follow-up question:

“Oh, you mean single mom?”
Sort of. But also—not really.

I want to talk about what this distinction means to me, and why I choose the term solo parent even though I technically fit the definition of a single mom.

No Co-Parenting, No Breaks

To me, solo parenting means parenting without a co-parent. There’s no one to trade off with, no every-other-weekend arrangement, no second household that shares the emotional and logistical weight.

• Every decision? Mine.
• Every sick day, bedtime routine, school pickup? Me.
• Every holiday plan? Also me.

I don’t have to compromise or coordinate with another adult—but I also don’t have another adult in the room at all. That’s the difference I’m trying to name.

“Single Mother” and the Weight of Language

I’ve also realized I feel uneasy with the term “single mom.” Not because I judge it—I don’t—but because the phrase carries decades of cultural baggage. For so long, “single mother” has been unfairly associated with judgment and assumption:

• That she’s failed at something.
• That she’s struggling or irresponsible.
• That she’s not enough.

I’m proud of my life and how I show up as a parent. But “solo parent” feels like it lets me step outside of that old narrative and define my own.

Different Challenges, Same Reality

Of course, many single parents do have co-parents and are solo when their kids are with them. That’s real, intense, and complicated work.

Co-parenting brings its own challenges:

• Navigating calendars
• Managing shared decisions
• Emotional labor across households

I respect that deeply. But for me, solo means there’s no one else carrying this with me—ever.

Let’s Talk About It

I’m curious:
Do you use the term solo parent?
Do you feel a difference between that and single parent?
Or do you own “single mom” with pride?

Drop a comment—I’d love to hear your take.